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"Big girls need big diamonds." - Elizabeth Taylor

"Indecision may or may not be my problem." - Jimmy Buffett

"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver." - Jay Leno

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." - Groucho Marx

"My life needs editing." - Mort Sahl

"Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long." - Ogden Nash

"I spent a year in that town, one Sunday." - George Burns

"Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go." - Truman Capote

"Miami Beach is where neon goes to die." - Lenny Bruce

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow

"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." - Gilbert K. Chesterton

"I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me." - Warren Buffett

"I see nothing in space as promising as the view from a Ferris wheel." - E. B. White

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway

"First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

"My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight." - John F. Kennedy

"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage." - H. L. Mencken

"I am a deeply superficial person." - Andy Warhol

"As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler." - Calvin Trillin

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor